Rangers: One Win in the Finals Parade will be Tuesday morning on 33rd Street between 7th and 8th avenues

Sather

SATIRE

NEW YORK CITY —

Rather than causing a big scene along the Canyon of Heroes, the New York Rangers today announced they will host a “One Win in the Finals Parade” along 33rd Street between Seventh and Eighth avenues on Tuesday, with a 10 a.m. stepoff.

Madison Square Garden Chairman James Dolan made the excited announcement Saturday.

“It’s been 20 years since we were in the Finals,” Dolan said. “And our fans were just wonderful in the first three rounds — which, you know, we won. And while we all were pretty sure the Kings would win the final round, we wanted our fans to be able to celebrate and savor that one win, Game No. 3.

Butch Goring will be
on hand for the parade.

“Which, I might remind you, was also Henrik Lundqvist’s first and only Finals victory.”

To be feted will the Lundqvist for his one win, Brian Boyle for his goal, Rick Nash for nothing, Brad Richards for nothing, the power play for its two successful goals in 21 tries and John Amirante for singing the anthem and twirling those towels like no one else ever has before or will do again.

Fans are invited to bring effigies of NHL referees. It doesn’t matter what the number is on the back of the sweater, Dolan says. Just bring anything that resembles an NHL referee and that can be hanged from a stick like a puppet.