NY Islanders: Our free seminars will explain to our fans how playoff hockey works in case our team makes the playoffs this season

By Kevin Canessa Jr.

Not sure what satire is? You should by now. And if you read this, don't know what satire is, and are pissed, again, I say this: you should know what a satirical piece of writing is before commenting. 

UNIONDALE, N.Y. —

A RARE SIGHT: The New York Islanders in post-season hockey action.

The New York Islanders today announced they will host seminars to explain to their fans how playoff hockey works, since the team is poised to make the playoffs for the first time since George W. Bush was president, team chairman Charles Wang said.

The seminars, to take place at a rest stop on the Meadowbrook Parkway, are open to the public — and season-ticket subscribers are encouraged to attend.

“We wanted our fans to know that in the first round, it’s a best-of-seven series,” Wang said. “During our last playoff appearance, we think it was best of 5 or 3 or something like that.”

Wang says the team will also explain to Islanders fans how the 2-2-1-1-1 format works for home ice — and how each game goes to sudden victory format in overtime in the event of a tie at the end of regulation.

“Our fans are used to seeing games either end in a tie (pre-2005) or in a shootout,” Wang said. “We want to prepare our fans for the eventuality that a game could go way past 10 p.m. Eastern Time if it goes to two or three overtimes.”

General Manager Garth A. Snow says he’s excited about explaining how it all works.

“Our fans deserve to know about the playoffs being four rounds, and what not,” Snow said. “They haven’t experienced anything like this in a very long time. And to help, we’ve asked Mike Bossey to come to the seminars to take part. Bossey, after all, experienced a lot of playoff success over the years for our hockey team, albeit decades ago.”

Forward John Tavares says he’s excited.

Rick DiPietro won't be present for the seminars.

“We’re thrilled to explain the nuances to playoff hockey,” Tavares said. “We’ve got a long way to go to get there, but if we can make our already-knowledgeable fan base even more versed on how playoff hockey works, we’ll be better off as an orgnisation.”

Algers “Al” Arbour, the team’s head coach during a four-year run as champions, will also be on hand for the seminars.

“Maybe I should just be the blunt one here. Our fans don’t have a fu**king clue about how the playoffs work,” Arbour said. “Chuckie (Wang) has demonstrated he’s dedicated to keeping this team on Long Island, and by teaching the fans how to understand post-season hockey, he’s showing even more just how much he cares about Nassau County.

“No one is more dedicated to Nassau County than Charles Wang is, my friends.”

Can’t make a seminar? Fret not.

All of them will be streamed live, online, at NewYorkIslanders.com.

Interested in attending a “How to understand the playoffs” seminar? Call (800) 882-ISLES.