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| Yormark |
By KEVIN CANESSA Jr.
Satire
Satire
SUNRISE, Fla. —
The Florida Panthers, in a move designed to bring fans to the arena for their games, announced that every remaining ticket sold for the rest of the season will only cost 24¢, Chairman Michael Yormark announced this weekend.
“This is an unprecedented move, but one we had to make,” Yormark said. “We’re frankly tired of our building being filled with fans from Montreal, New York, Boston, New Jersey and Philadelphia. So we’re giving OUR fans a chance to say they were there while we defended our cherished Southeast Division Championship of 2012.”
In a concurrent move, Yormark also announced the team will raise the 2011-12 Southeast Division Championship banner before every remaining home game.
“The guys busted their asses all last year to get that banner,” Yormark said. “And despite losing to the Devils in the first round in seven hard-fought games, we want to remember what happened last year and to allow it to serve as a reminder just how difficult it is to get a banner.”
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| Moller |
And don’t think they’ll remove the banner from previous games, either. Each division championship banner will get a special “raising date,” to commemorate last year’s feat — and so fans can always look back and recall when each banner was raised.
“By the end of the season, we’ll have a total of 25 banners,” Yormark said. “Though they’ll all practically be the same one, they sure will look nice next to that other one — the Eastern Conference Champions one from 1996.”
Radio play-by-play announcer Randy Moller was elated when he heard the news.
“I’m the king of the world,” Moller said, referencing the movie “Titanic.” “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that!”
The 24¢ tickets are available at the BB&T box office or at panthers.nhl.com.
Oh, and here are some great Moller goal calls.
Oh, and here are some great Moller goal calls.
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