Flyers offering 'Punch Your Least-Favorite Player' promo

Satire

By KEVIN CANESSA Jr.

PHILADELPHIA —

Ed Snider

The Philadelphia Flyers announced an addition to their promotional schedule for the 2012-13 season, and it’s one many fans of the team should like — and want to take part in.

On March 15, fans attending the Devils-Flyers game at the Core State/Wachovia/First Union/Wells Fargo Center will be invited to throw punches at two life-like effigies of Ilya Bryzgalov and Scott Stevens.

It is believed this is the first “Punch Your Least Favorite Hockey Players” event in NHL history.

Flyers owner Ed Snider says he’s elated to bring this promotion to the fans of the Orange and Black.

“We’ve  thought of this program for over a year,” Snider said. “And let me tell you — my 18-year-old fiancee had a lot to do with implementing this promotion. We’re delighted our fans will get a chance to take swings at two people who, in the history of this Flyers organization, have fu**ed us over more than any others.”

Snider says Stevens’s hit on Eric Lindros in the 2000 Eastern Conference Finals never left his memory — and as such, he wanted fans to have a chance, nearly 13 years later, to get even.

Some 13 years after Scott Stevens did this to Eric Lindros, Flyers owner Ed Snider says it's time
for fans of the Flyers to extract their revenge on the current Devils coach.

“It may not actually be Scotty Stevens, but let’s face it — this will be a huge psychological boost to our fans and some of our players,” Snider said. “Plus, the $2 fee to throw punches will all be donated to Geno’s effort to get everyone to order their cheesesteaks in English. No Espanol a la Geno’s!”

And while fans may have issues throwing punches at the likeness of Bryzgalov, Snider says he’s confident fans will understand — and will want to get their frustrations out over Bryz’s poor play at the end of last season.”

“He screwed us. Plain and simple,” the chairman said. “To lose in 5 to New Jersey was unacceptable. And our fans deserve to get some semblance of revenge on the goalie who just couldn’t get it done — and who rarely has.”

Want to learn more about this event? Log on to www.PunchScottyandIlyaAtaGame.com for details.